The Woman Who Saved My Life

Love, acceptance, support, encouragement, and grace.
Things I needed as my walk on the path of teen pregnancy continued.
I did not find it at home.
I did not find it with the baby's father.
I had to leave my home, find somewhere else to live.

Then I found, 
Love, acceptance, support, encouragement, and grace.
And her name was Elsie Cummins.
She was an older, unmarried lady that opened her home to girls like myself.
Elsie was an awesome Christian woman who was in her 60's when I met her. She allowed me to live in her home for 4 months. She fed me, and made sure all my other needs were met.
She prepared me for motherhood. She taught me how to manage money, and how to get prepared and organized.

What she never did was show contempt or judge me. She taught me what unconditional love and grace looked like. I was very thankful to her for what she did.
She saved my life.
She allowed me to blossom and not become bitter. She taught me to respect myself by showing me I was worthy of respect. She taught me that Jesus loves people even when they make poor choices.

You need to find an Elsie on your path. You may not need a home. You do need someone to show you 
Love, acceptance, support, encouragement, and grace.

There are women who are willing to walk with you if you will let them. I am one of them. I can help you find someone to walk with you as well.

Why do I do this?
Back when my walk on the path began, and God sent Elsie to walk with me, I made a promise. I promised I would reach out to young women and give back what had been given to me.

1Corinthians 13:13  So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the best one of these is love.

So, here I am. There you are. Let's walk. Let's talk. Let's navigate this path to the end.
You are strong. You can make it!

As always, I am talking to Him about you.

Because I have walked the path,

Glenda Johnson
glenda@comediscoverwithus.com
http://www.twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63
http://www.facebook.com/BibleBowlGlenda

A Crossroad on the Path -#3 of 3

(If this is your first visit here welcome. May I suggest you read Blog
"The Test Was WHAT?"
to start from the beginning? I'm glad you are here)

 So here we are. The fork on our path that is the choice I made. The decision to raise my child. Alone.
As I came to this crossroad, I knew it would be tough, but was really surprised how much harder it really was than I thought it would be. I did it, made the right choice for me, but it was no fairy tale!

I was alienated from my family because I made this choice. It caused me to have to move out of my parent's home, and into a stranger's home.
I struggled physically, I had some real problems during the pregnancy, and no one to really share this intimately with.
I struggled financially. As my pregnancy progressed, I was forced to use food stamps and other forms government help to support myself and unborn child.
This was almost 30 years ago, so I was often treated as if  I were a no good low life because I was pregnant and unmarried.

Is that the end? Just bad memories? You might think I made the wrong choice.

So why did I share those negative things with you? I did it because they are truth. I have shared truthfully with you so far, and I will continue to do so. As you make choices, I want you to have the whole story of my walk, so that as you encounter things, you will not feel so alone.

I was happy to carry my baby and begin a new life. It truly was a new life. I was no longer carefree, but now had a child who relied 100% on me to meet every need he had. After I went back to work, that was tough, but worth it.

I know in my heart I made the right choice for me. There are somethings that I did I would do differently if I could go back.
Keeping my child is not one of them.

I encourage you to follow your heart as you need to make a choice here. You will need to live with this decision. There will be those around you who will pressure you one way or another. Think, and breathe. You are strong and brave.

My hope for you is that you will choose adoption or choose to raise your child.
Life is always the best option. Please refer to "A Crossroad on the Path #'s1 and 2", there are helpful links in them.

Mary, who is Jesus' mother had to make the same choice. She was unmarried, (the conception of Jesus was differnt than that of my baby or yours), and she chose to have her baby, the son of God. Her cousin Elizabeth was encouaging Mary. Read what they said to each other.

Luke 1:45  You are blessed for believing that the Lord would keep his promise to you."
Luke 1:46  Mary said, "My soul praises the Lord's greatness!"

The Lord is waiting for you and has made promises to you as well. Read on;

Mat 11:28-30  "Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
  Place my yoke over your shoulders, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble. Then you will find rest for yourselves  because my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Jesus is ready to carry this choice and burden with you.

I am always here to encourage you. The way to contact me is at the end of this blog.

Tomorrow. The woman who saved my life. Come back for another look at where my path took me.

As always, I will be talking about you to the One who knows what's best for you!


Because I have walked the path,

Glenda Johnson
glenda@comediscoverwithus.com
http://www.twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63
http://www.facebook.com/BibleBowlGlenda.com

A Crossroad on the Path -#2 of 3

(If this is your first visit here welcome. May I suggest you read Blog
"The Test Was WHAT?"
to start from the beginning? I'm glad you are here)

Today we are going to talk about an option that your walk down the path of teen pregnancy will bring you to. The choice whether to continue with the pregnancy or not.
While this path did cross my mind briefly, my heart would not allow me to choose this direction on my path.

I was pressured and encouraged to choose this path. The one thing that I knew was that I had a baby growing inside of me, and I was not going to end that child’s life.

I know that there is someone out there who is considering choosing this path. I can tell you that this path will not fix your problem. You may no longer be pregnant, but, you will have to deal with emotions that will surface someday.Some young women get infections and in rare, but real situations, lose their ability to have future children. In rare cases, even today, there is serious bleeding, and in the most drastic cases even death.
I am not preaching at you, but I know that if you considering this path, chances are you are not being given the other side of the story.

I have dealt with many woman who have chosen this path. I have not had any of them that are happy that they did. It might seem like a quick fix, but it isn't. It really leads to more sorrow. If you are considering this path please watch and listen to the follow link. It is not a scare tactic. It is a testimony of a man whose mother had to make the very same choice you are pondering right now.

http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2009/10/19/abortion-testimony-god-can-redeem-any-situation/

Here are some more things that might be of help to you.
Crisis pregnancy Help Line 1-800-672-2296
Option Line 800-395-HELP

If you have already chosen this path, you are still in a safe place. I am not judging you. You and you alone can make the choice to change the direction your path is taking you.. I am still praying for you. There is a way to bring joy into your life.

Romans 2:4 b Don't you realize that it is God's kindness that is trying to lead you to him and change the way you think and act?

Psalm 16:11 You make the path of life known to me. Complete joy is in your presence. Pleasures are by your side forever.

There is One who is waiting for you to turn to Him. He can take away those feelings of shame and guilt. He can heal you from the inside out.

Email or twitter me. I will be happy to help you find the path that is the one that will bring joy and healing.

As always, I am talking about you to the One who knows you best.

Because I've walked the path,

Glenda Johnson
glenda@comediscoverwithus.com
http://www.twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63

A Crossroad on the Path- Choice #1 of 3 - Adoption

(If this is your first visit here welcome. May I suggest you read Blog
"The Test Was WHAT?"
to start from the beginning? I'm glad you are here)



You are walking down a path. It is a scary, hard path. The path’s direction, however will be determined by what you do and the choices you make. I want to encourage you as you make those choice. I will also hopefully empower you to be able to stand and do what you know is right for you.

I, too, had to make a choice on the path.There were only 3 choices that I saw that I had.
I am going to cover those 3 paths in a 3 Blog Series. This is the first in that series.
 
One of the crossroads the path will take you to will be the choice of adoption. I considered this option long and hard. I consulted an attorney and we talked about different types of adoptions. Here are the things that I found and considered:

A closed adoption- I would never meet the birth parents, and I would know nothing about them. Once I made this choice, the baby would leave my hospital room after the birth and I would go home. The baby from that point on would be with the people that would love, raise and be the parents .

An open adoption- The procedures on this varied. One type allowed me to choose the adoptive parents from profiles, but without actually meeting or being a part of their lives. Another option was that I would be able to choose and meet the couple. I would even be able to have updates and pictures of the child as they grew.

As I pondered these things, I weighed the option knowing that there were,(and still are), many couples out there who desired to have a child, but were unable to do so. Adoption provides a wonderful gift to those couples.

I also came to figure out that I as I searched my heart, adoption was not a direction I would go.

It is a wonderful, brave, gift-giving, loving choice.  It is a self-less choice that allows you to provide a great home and have parents that really desire to be parents.

It may be what you choose.
It is a great choice.
Check out this link for some resources. It may help you in your decision.
http://www.bethany.org/

Also check with a local adoption attorney in your area. You may contact me for more resources in this area.

Adoption is close to God's heart.

Rom 8:14  For whosoever are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Rom 8:15  For you have not received the spirit of bondage again in fear: but you have received the spirit of adoption of sons, whereby we cry: Abba (Father).

When you choose to follow God, He adopts you into His family. You become His child.
Adoption is a choice of love!

I will be talking about you, to the One who authored the idea of adoption . I will ask Him  for wisdom for you to know if this is for you.

Tomorrow another crossroad and another choice explored.

Because I have walked the path,
Glenda Johnson
http://twitter/GlendaJohnson63
glenda@comediscoverwithus.com

Of Course You're The Father!!!

(If this is your first visit here welcome. May I suggest you read Blog "The Test Was WHAT?" to start from the beginning? I'm glad you are here)

So, we are to the point on our path that it is time to tell the father of your child. Tell him that there IS a child.  This is where it really gets scary. It is where you open yourself up for total rejection from someone that you probably care or cared for with all your heart.

Here's my story; as you listen, maybe you can figure out how to navigate this path a little easier.


I once again had to have a difficult conversation on the phone. The baby's father was the final person that NEEDED to know about this pregnancy.

As I cautiously  told him that I was was pregnant, there was at first, silence on the end of the phone line.

His first question was offensive. "Is it mine? Are you sure?"

" Of course I am sure that this baby is yours!" ( What I didn't say, was that my heart was still aching from the breakup 3mo earlier and had no ability to let anyone else in)

His next statement was surprising.

"Well, let's go buy some rings and get married."

I was stunned. I did not expect that!

Then I did the hardest thing that I had ever done up to that point in my life.
I said,"No."

You see, I wanted to be loved, have a husband who wanted me to be his wife. I knew that if  we weren't able to handle our relationship in the dating realm, then there was no way we could have a successful marriage.  

He said OK, and we both agreed to talk again soon.

Our next conversation would not be as civil.

Remember our talk a couple of days ago where I cautioned you to be careful who you let influence your choices?  Well the guys need to heed that warning as well.

As he shared what had happened with his friends at college, they all put there views out there very forcefully. One of his closest friends had a girlfriend who worked at a clinic where they can "take care of this for us". He had her call me. She was not very kind when it was realized that what she was offering was not the choice I desired to make. Neither were his friends.  (people that had always been OUR friends)

As the days went by he made it perfectly clear that there was only one choice in the matter and if I did not choose that I was on my own.

I was already on my own.

He did tell me one last thing that last time we saw each other in person to discuss the matter one more time.

He looked me right in the eye and said, " I hope it is a boy and I hope he looks just like me so you will be haunted for the rest of your life and never get me out your mind!"

His hope came true, At least partially. The baby was a boy. He looks just like his biological father.
However, it does not haunt me. The paths I walked, the choices I made, made it so I can be joyful, not haunted.

There are people all around both of you that will be pressuring you each to make choices that you both will have to live with.
Please stop and think and take a deep breath. Surround yourself with safe people. Make your choice yours.

As a side note. I had dinner with my sons father 13 years later to discuss my son and his searching for answers. My son's father looked at me and said the following;
"I just want you to know that I was really pressured to make the choices I did by others. I can tell you, had I been stronger, I would have made other choices."

You have a path to walk that looks really scary right now. You can do it. There is support for you.

Psalm 25:12  Who, then, is this person that fears the LORD? He(SHE) is the one whom the LORD will teach which path to choose.
There is One who is waiting to help you choose the path that is needed for YOU and your baby.

Tomorrow we will talk about the 3 paths you can take. I will let you know how I chose the one I did and how you can be more comfortable and strong enough to choose the one you need to follow.

As always, I will be talking to Him about you. I am praying you choose the best path.

Because I've walked the path,

Glenda Johnson
http://twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63
glenda@comediscoverwithus.com

Umm Mom and Dad, I Need To Tell You Something.....

(If this is your first visit here welcome. May I suggest you read Blog "The Test Was WHAT?" to start from the beginning? I'm glad you are here)

http://www.FreeFoto.com

Telling my mom and dad that I was pregnant was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I still remember it like it was yesterday....

My mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table, my dad was working out of town, and I knew I had to tell her. I told her I was pregnant. She asked what I was going to do. I told her I had decided I could not have an abortion. She understood that and agreed she would not make that choice either. As our conversation progressed, she let me know what her desire for my choices would be:

The first: Get married. I could get a divorce later, but being married to the baby's father was of utmost importance. Just get it on paper and legal.

The second: Give the baby up for adoption. This would mean being sent off to a relative's house far away where no one knew us, have the baby, give the child up for adoption, then come home like nothing had ever happened.

WOW. Neither of those really sounded appealing. Adoption was still a choice I was exploring, but being sent away? Devastated is the only word that can explain what I felt at that moment.

Then she said, " YOU must tell your father."

I tried to get off work over the next couple of days to drive down to where my father was to talk to him. I could not get off work. So I called him on the phone.

It was a short phone call. I told him. He told me the only option I had was to get an abortion or leave.
Case closed.

Again. Devastated.

As it happens, my mom would not let him just totally throw me out and so the search for where they could hide the PROBLEM was on.

In the meantime, I ended up having two emergency surgeries, before a place could be found. The circumstances around those surgeries and where I ended up, I'll cover in another blog.

Telling my parents was hard. I didn't have all the support I needed from them. But telling them was necessary.

If you are EVEN CONSIDERING KEEPING YOUR PREGNANCY A SECRET, let me share a quick story that illustrates WHY you should NOT keep the pregnancy a secret.

Just last week I was with one of my business clients and she asked if she could share a story with me about her children. ( The reason I was there was totally unrelated to this blog.) This is her story:

19 years ago she was going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. She was on her way home from her last treatment with her husband and 15 yo daughter. On the way way home the daughter started having cramps because of her period. Mom gave her some Tylenol when they got home and sent her to rest. A few minutes later the daughter came out of her room in overwhelming pain. Mom gave her a stronger pain medicine that had been prescribed for the daughter for something else. The daughter went in to the bathroom, and all of a sudden , the mom heard a blood-curdling scream. The daughter was sitting on the floor with a blue baby with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Mom was able to unwrap the cord and give the baby mouth to mouth until the little one started crying.

Now, why do I share this? Because Mom and Dad did not know their daughter was pregnant. Not only was the daughter ashamed, but she thought her mom was going to die from cancer and did not want her to have that on her mind. It was only by the grace of God that mom was there when that child was born. If she hadn't been, the baby would have died. The daughter was in shock and did not know what to do. Also, the daughter could have bled to death.

Please, your parents need to know, for your sake as well as your unborn child's.  Even if you choose to not continue the pregnancy, there are complications can happen with that procedure as well. Let your parents be able to care for you. It's what we do.

Try not to let fear rule your choices. Listen to this promise:
Proverbs 30:5  "Every word of God has proven to be true. He is a shield to those who come to him for protection.

He will protect you during this time no matter what path you choose to walk down.

Go ahead and have that conversation. I'll be talking about you to Him, He will protect you.

Because I've walked the Path,

Glenda Johnson
http://twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63

I Need To Tell You Something

(If this is your first visit here welcome. May I suggest you read Blog "The Test Was WHAT?" to start from the beginning? I'm glad you are here)

http://FreeFoto.com

You have some tough conversations to have, don't you?

I did.  Maybe how I navigated this, might be of help to you.

Let me share:

My first conversation was with one of my closest friends from high school. When I told her I was having a baby, her first reply was, "No, You are not! We can get this taken care of!" Her response was out of concern for me. She knew I had big plans, the baby's father was not in my life, and she knew how my dad would respond. I talked with her and told her I already had an appointment made at the clinic.

She and I were very close, and when I made the choice to keep my child, she was just as supportive. She loved me, and walked the path with me. I still love her to this day.

My second conversation was with another high school friend. This friend shared the same belief system I did. She and I met at a restaurant, and when I told her I was pregnant, she was not surprised. She knew me, and she knew some of the choices I had made. Her words spoken to me that night still resonate in my heart today.

" Glenda I love you. Even if you should choose a path that I do not agree with, I will still love you. I am here for you and that will never change."

I had two SAFE people I could share with. It is so important to be careful with whom you choose  to share with during your decision making time. Make sure that you are not forced into making a choice that YOU and You alone WILL have to live with forever.

Who you seek advice from now, is one important choice. Do not take it lightly.

 Proverbs 18:24 says:  Friends can destroy one another, but a loving friend can stick closer than family.

Tomorrow, Mom and Dad. Two very difficult but necessary conversations.

I will be having a conversation with only One who truly knows all you are going through , about you today.

Because I have walked the path,

Glenda Johnson
http://twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63