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Telling my mom and dad that I was pregnant was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I still remember it like it was yesterday....
My mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table, my dad was working out of town, and I knew I had to tell her. I told her I was pregnant. She asked what I was going to do. I told her I had decided I could not have an abortion. She understood that and agreed she would not make that choice either. As our conversation progressed, she let me know what her desire for my choices would be:
The first: Get married. I could get a divorce later, but being married to the baby's father was of utmost importance. Just get it on paper and legal.
The second: Give the baby up for adoption. This would mean being sent off to a relative's house far away where no one knew us, have the baby, give the child up for adoption, then come home like nothing had ever happened.
WOW. Neither of those really sounded appealing. Adoption was still a choice I was exploring, but being sent away? Devastated is the only word that can explain what I felt at that moment.
Then she said, " YOU must tell your father."
I tried to get off work over the next couple of days to drive down to where my father was to talk to him. I could not get off work. So I called him on the phone.
It was a short phone call. I told him. He told me the only option I had was to get an abortion or leave.
Case closed.
Again. Devastated.
As it happens, my mom would not let him just totally throw me out and so the search for where they could hide the PROBLEM was on.
In the meantime, I ended up having two emergency surgeries, before a place could be found. The circumstances around those surgeries and where I ended up, I'll cover in another blog.
Telling my parents was hard. I didn't have all the support I needed from them. But telling them was necessary.
If you are EVEN CONSIDERING KEEPING YOUR PREGNANCY A SECRET, let me share a quick story that illustrates WHY you should NOT keep the pregnancy a secret.
Just last week I was with one of my business clients and she asked if she could share a story with me about her children. ( The reason I was there was totally unrelated to this blog.) This is her story:
19 years ago she was going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. She was on her way home from her last treatment with her husband and 15 yo daughter. On the way way home the daughter started having cramps because of her period. Mom gave her some Tylenol when they got home and sent her to rest. A few minutes later the daughter came out of her room in overwhelming pain. Mom gave her a stronger pain medicine that had been prescribed for the daughter for something else. The daughter went in to the bathroom, and all of a sudden , the mom heard a blood-curdling scream. The daughter was sitting on the floor with a blue baby with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Mom was able to unwrap the cord and give the baby mouth to mouth until the little one started crying.
Now, why do I share this? Because Mom and Dad did not know their daughter was pregnant. Not only was the daughter ashamed, but she thought her mom was going to die from cancer and did not want her to have that on her mind. It was only by the grace of God that mom was there when that child was born. If she hadn't been, the baby would have died. The daughter was in shock and did not know what to do. Also, the daughter could have bled to death.
Please, your parents need to know, for your sake as well as your unborn child's. Even if you choose to not continue the pregnancy, there are complications can happen with that procedure as well. Let your parents be able to care for you. It's what we do.
Try not to let fear rule your choices. Listen to this promise:
Proverbs 30:5 "Every word of God has proven to be true. He is a shield to those who come to him for protection.
He will protect you during this time no matter what path you choose to walk down.
Go ahead and have that conversation. I'll be talking about you to Him, He will protect you.
Because I've walked the Path,
Glenda Johnson
http://twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63
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