So, we are to the point on our path that it is time to tell the father of your child. Tell him that there IS a child. This is where it really gets scary. It is where you open yourself up for total rejection from someone that you probably care or cared for with all your heart.
Here's my story; as you listen, maybe you can figure out how to navigate this path a little easier.
I once again had to have a difficult conversation on the phone. The baby's father was the final person that NEEDED to know about this pregnancy.
As I cautiously told him that I was was pregnant, there was at first, silence on the end of the phone line.
His first question was offensive. "Is it mine? Are you sure?"
" Of course I am sure that this baby is yours!" ( What I didn't say, was that my heart was still aching from the breakup 3mo earlier and had no ability to let anyone else in)
His next statement was surprising.
"Well, let's go buy some rings and get married."
I was stunned. I did not expect that!
Then I did the hardest thing that I had ever done up to that point in my life.
I said,"No."
You see, I wanted to be loved, have a husband who wanted me to be his wife. I knew that if we weren't able to handle our relationship in the dating realm, then there was no way we could have a successful marriage.
He said OK, and we both agreed to talk again soon.
Our next conversation would not be as civil.
Remember our talk a couple of days ago where I cautioned you to be careful who you let influence your choices? Well the guys need to heed that warning as well.
As he shared what had happened with his friends at college, they all put there views out there very forcefully. One of his closest friends had a girlfriend who worked at a clinic where they can "take care of this for us". He had her call me. She was not very kind when it was realized that what she was offering was not the choice I desired to make. Neither were his friends. (people that had always been OUR friends)
As the days went by he made it perfectly clear that there was only one choice in the matter and if I did not choose that I was on my own.
I was already on my own.
He did tell me one last thing that last time we saw each other in person to discuss the matter one more time.
He looked me right in the eye and said, " I hope it is a boy and I hope he looks just like me so you will be haunted for the rest of your life and never get me out your mind!"
His hope came true, At least partially. The baby was a boy. He looks just like his biological father.
However, it does not haunt me. The paths I walked, the choices I made, made it so I can be joyful, not haunted.
There are people all around both of you that will be pressuring you each to make choices that you both will have to live with.
Please stop and think and take a deep breath. Surround yourself with safe people. Make your choice yours.
As a side note. I had dinner with my sons father 13 years later to discuss my son and his searching for answers. My son's father looked at me and said the following;
"I just want you to know that I was really pressured to make the choices I did by others. I can tell you, had I been stronger, I would have made other choices."
You have a path to walk that looks really scary right now. You can do it. There is support for you.
Psalm 25:12 Who, then, is this person that fears the LORD? He(SHE) is the one whom the LORD will teach which path to choose.
There is One who is waiting to help you choose the path that is needed for YOU and your baby.
Tomorrow we will talk about the 3 paths you can take. I will let you know how I chose the one I did and how you can be more comfortable and strong enough to choose the one you need to follow.
As always, I will be talking to Him about you. I am praying you choose the best path.
Because I've walked the path,
Glenda Johnson
http://twitter.com/GlendaJohnson63
glenda@comediscoverwithus.com
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment